I’m always looking for stuff. I’m not very organized. My apartment and work space reflect my apparent inability to put things away in the right and proper place. Consequently, I regularly find myself looking around for misplaced items. Sometimes I wish I could add a google search bar to my life. Something that would help me find what I’m seeking.
This is also true in the more abstract sense. There are a lot of things in my life that I am seeking, but I’m not sure how to find. I seek happiness, pleasure, satisfaction, money, material possessions, status, and a whole host of other things. My desire for recognition and accomplishment are like an itch that is constantly brought to my attention. I’m always seeking to alleviate the pain and irritation at my obsequiousness. My desire for pleasure can overwhelm me instantly. I forego moral boundaries and self-control as I seek to satiate them. The promise of happiness keeps me always seeking a better life, in a better place, at a better job, with better friends. The latest advertising campaigns have me seeking the newest toy, the fastest computer, or the hippest way to enjoy media. I am always seeking….and I’m finding it tiresome and quite unrewarding.
Over the past few days, I have repeatedly come across this verse:
All my desires, hopes, dreams and even lusts are fulfilled or erased here. Everything in my life that I covet or depend on meets it destruction or fullfillment in correct seeking. I want this so badly for my life. I long to be passionately and completely devouted to seeking God’s kingdom.
I want to decide to forego food as I fast so that I’m satisfied with the Bread of Life. I want to forego a higher paying job so that I can be released from bondage to money. I want to choose a less glorious ministry so that I can make a glorious impact on the lives I’m meant to touch. I want to pass up the latest Mac toy so that I can avoid being disappointed with it. I want to work hard at the relationships I have so that I don’t have to start over somewhere else. I want to make hard decisions based on a Kingdom ethic so that all these things will be added to me.
LORD, make it happen…change me….
may your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven”